New Routine

We are finally starting to get out of the haze that is the first nine months of having two children. That being said, I came to realize the structure of our evening has essentially been non-existent since Adele was born.

Yesterday overall was a crappy day, however I don't like to wallow in funks for to long so I scrapped myself up and had coffee with my friend. She has two children right around the same ages as Adele and Jade and I mentioned my issues with routine.  She discussed her routine with me and I came out with a new sense of ambition to re-create what we had before both kiddos.

Adele will continue to go down at 7:00, however, we are starting Jade's routine of books and brushing teeth at 7:30 with the intention of "lights out" at 8:00. Once in her room, I could care less if she dances a jig or reads a million books with her flashlight, as long as she stays in her room and eventually goes to sleep.  I know she will need to be told to go back to her room a million times, however she takes well to structure so in a few days to week, I'm sure we'll be in a good place. It is now 8:22 and she has only come out once since 8:00... Fingers crossed but of course I probably just jinxed myself.

One of the members of my 18q- group happened to post about a book titled "Far the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity". It is a book that reflects how families transform experiences and difficulties with exceptional children (Ex: Down syndrome, autism, chromosomal abnormalities, schizophrenia, children who are prodigies, children of rape and transgender children) into meaning and a richer quality of life. I am excited to read this book since I am looking for a little inspiration and identity.

I realized through talking with my friend yesterday, that what is becoming the most difficult for me personally, is trying to find an identity in terms of parenting Adele. I explained to my friend that I often don't know how to respond when someone asks me how Adele is doing. Should I tell them how her 18q- is doing or how SHE is doing? What is being implied? My friend also very bravely and honestly admitted that she does not know how much to ask or how little to ask. This is very thoughtful and I understand the conundrum. Here is what seems to be a very simple solution to this problem: If you want to know how Adele is doing, ask.. If you also want to know how things are going with her development or health, ask about her development or health.  I am happy to answer questions.

Yesterday also brought the first day that I have been out in public with Adele while she has her BAHA on. We got a few looks but overall, people were rather unfazed by it.  This was comforting and I was reminded that I am more worried about it than I need to be.